A Finished Copy of ALTERED!

Something very special arrived today.

A finished hardcover copy of ALTERED.

I cannot adequately describe the feeling of opening the package and seeing my book in its final, printed version. All those months working on it. Revising. Revising. Copyedits. First pass pages. ARCs! And now, finally, it's done. I want to compare it to baby making, but truthfully, being pregnant was far easier than revising Altered. Being pregnant is actually a pretty charmed life if you have people who care about you. And thankfully I did. When I was pregnant with my daughter I napped a lot. Husband cooked me dinner almost every night. I napped some more. My shoulders were rubbed regularly and so were my feet. I watched a lot of TV. Read a lot of books. Napped. Napped. More napping.

I would compare revising a book to walking across a bed of hot coals, then jogging through a mountain valley with only peanut butter M&Ms and tequila to get you through the night. And then you emerge, only to realize the valley goes on and on for another ten miles and you're running out of tequila, and you have one M&M left but it's frozen solid, just like your feet, and you can't quite remember what real life felt like, you've been jogging for so long, and...don't you have a husband and kids? What do they look like? You've been buried so deep in edits mountain jogging that you can't remember.

Okay, okay, so perhaps I'm exaggerating a wee bit.

But when experienced writers warned me about the revision process, I never quite believed them. It's one of those things you don't understand until you've gone through it. And even then, it's different for every writer, and every book. For instance, Bot Wars was a lot easier to revise than Altered was, but that's perhaps a different post for a different time. This was supposed to be about celebrating!!

I opened the package that arrived on my doorstep early this AM and this is what came out ---

This is the moment where I felt like weeping. Holding the book! Seeing the little gift box and the card from my editor. I hugged the book to my chest and jumped up and down and hollered a lot. It was entertaining. 

This is what my editor sent along as a congratulatory gift ---

A tree necklace! It's absolutely perfect. Not only does it match the cover, but the tree symbolizes the tattoo on Sam's back. It's an incredibly touching/thoughtful gift, and it just served as a reminder of how lucky I am to have such an AMAZING editor. 

And then, after reading the card (and getting misty-eyed), I examined the book for what felt like forever. The dust jacket itself has a matte finish, and the branches, title and author name have a glossy, raised finish. I absolutely love that detail. You can see it better here ----

And then the spine and the back cover with all of those amazing blurbs from such amazing writers! 

Basically I was feeling the major love today. This package served as a reminder of how lucky I am, how grateful I am, to be here. I know there are unpubbed writers out there still trying to snag an agent. Or maybe you are represented, but you can't seem to sell anything yet. HANG IN THERE. It may not happen next week. Or next month. Or maybe not even next year. BUT IT WILL HAPPEN if you keep trying. 

And now, I am off to clutch the book to my chest again and pet its pretty spine work.

Sensory Triggers Part 2

Before you read this post, listen to this song (or at least the first minute or so):

Whenever I hear this song, I get this vivid feeling that it belongs to a story I’ve yet to write. That feeling comes through unsure, like a voice crackling through an old radio. I see a girl. She’s blonde, slight, and she’s sad. She’s looking out a window as sunlight pours through the lace of dirt and grime. I know she’s waiting for someone, or missing someone, but I’m not sure who.

I know there’s more, I can sense it in that split-second image, like there are conflicts and emotions on the outer edge that I can’t yet see. And I want to see. I want to see so badly.

I’ve talked about sensory triggers before, from a character’s perspective, but those were tied to memories. This girl is completely made up. So why do I feel so strongly about her?

Sometimes I wonder if writers experience the world differently than others. I’m not trying to sound better than non-writers (oh no, we writers are crazy, we are not better in any way!). It’s simply introspection on what it means to be a writer. 

Whenever I’m on the beach, and it’s windy, and the waves are crashing against the shore, I’m reminded of this reoccurring dream of mine that goes like this:

I’m running down the street. It’s pouring. I catch flashes of the ocean to my right in the alleys between houses. I know where I’m going. I need to hurry. Hurry. Hurry before he leaves.

I reach my destination---a house on the ocean with cornflower blue siding and crisp white trim---and push through the front door. I see him in the living room in full military uniform, a beret in his hands. He looks at me. Regret and sadness pinch at the corners of his eyes and I want to yell, Why didn’t you tell me you were being deployed? But I’m just glad I caught him before he left.

His name is Jordan. And still to this day I miss him, this boy I’ve never met, who deployed for some nameless war and never came back to dream-me.

There is a story there. My emotions are so strongly tied to that dream that just being near a stormy beach makes me sad. Do non-writers ever feel this way? And if they do, do they ignore it? Discard the feelings as insignificant because they were dream emotions?

I have no thoughtful or provoking conclusion to this post. I wish I did. I merely wanted to examine this sort of thing, whatever it is, and see if there were other writers out there with similar experiences.

Do any of you have fictional characters/emotions/scenes that are triggered by something specific? The smell of something sweet? The weather? The sound of rain?

Nearing Deadline

I only have about two weeks left on the first round of ALTERED revisions, so my posting has been rather on the light side over here. But soon, my friends, I will be posting again!

I'm feeling pretty good on this revision. And by 'good' I mean, I don't feel like I want to jump off a cliff. So, ya know, that's a plus.

A lot of things have changed, and changed for the better. I just hope I pulled it off all right!

Anyway, because I've been kinda quiet on the blogging front, and because writing a post takes a lot brain power, I made a pretty picture for the blog instead. I'll leave you with this---

And sometime later this week, I might do a post (or a series of posts) on a few of my favorite book covers. Fun times, I tell you. 

Some ALTERED News

Since the official announcements are up in PM, I can finally share the news. 

ALTERED sold in Germany, at auction, in a three-book deal!! 

AND...

French rights sold last week. WOOT!

When I got the news that ALTERED was going to auction in Germany, I couldn't believe it. I really didn't put much thought into subrights. I didn't want to be disappointed if it didn't sell. The very idea that people in foreign countries were looking at my book was amazing enough. 

But now it will be translated in at least two other languages! To say that I'm shocked would be an understatement. I'm just thankful it's being published in the US, let along anywhere else. So much has changed this year. It's hard to wrap my head around everything that has happened. If you're still querying agents, hoping for a book deal, trying to get a contract with Special Treats bakery for your Pink Sprinkle Cupcakes, KEEP PUSHING. A year ago, I hadn't even written ALTERED yet (or at least hadn't come close to finishing it), and now...

All I can say is, it will happen if you keep trying. 

And, random side note--- If you have the opportunity to watch Lifetime's docudrama based on JK Rowling's life, watch it. It will inspire you. And possibly make you cry.

Being You

I am the Jekyll and Hyde of confidence. Some days I am so confident in who I am and what I’m doing, I want to shout it from every available rooftop. But other days (and they happen more often than I’d like), I avoid the Internet and computer at all costs. I’d much rather lie on the couch in a puddle of ugh and watch movies all day long.

And why is that? Is it normal? Or is this a characteristic of writers only?

I think it's hard being an artist of any form. You have this need to create. You can’t ignore it. You can’t avoid it. It is a part of who you are. And with that need comes the need to share it. And sharing it means sharing you. Everything an artist puts out there reveals a piece of who that person is.

Inevitably, you worry about how people will view you. Will they like me? Am I annoying? Do I seem unoriginal?

I want people to like me, obviously. But at what cost? Should I not say A, B and C because Group D might think I’m lame? And should I care if Group D thinks I’m lame?

It’s all very high school, isn’t it?

When these thoughts creep in, I try to tap into that part of me That Does Not Care. It’s a small part. It has a tiny corner in the Library of Jenn. But it’s there. And when I tell myself, Self, you can only be you and if someone doesn’t like you, you don’t need them anyway, I feel a million times better.

In the grand scheme of things, I must live my life the way I want to live my life. Because if I try to please everyone, and be what everyone else wants me to be, then who am I? I wouldn’t be Jenn anymore. I’d be Them.

Favorite Movie Character

There are so many reasons to love Jack. The ones I listed above are only a sample of what and who he truly is. I love how he stands back and analyzes and calculates and then twists people to do exactly what he wants without working too hard.

I love that he surprises people ALL THE TIME. Like getting off that island? The rumored escape on the backs of turtles, only to find out it was something far, far simpler? Brilliant. People underestimate Jack, and he lets them. And that's what I love about him.

Who is your favorite character?

Twelfth Night

Last night, The Hubs and I went to a theater performance of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night out at the community college. At risk of revealing my lameness, I must admit I've never been to a theater performance. And I wasn't sure what to expect of this tiny production set at a college surrounded by Michigan backwoods. Oh, and did I mention it was done in the style of Japanese anime?

We took our seats at 7:30 and before I knew it, it was near 10:30. Somehow, the night escaped me as I escaped into the performance.

The show was so well done, the costumes spot-on and brilliant, the small set well-used. I can't believe how much I laughed. My favorite characters were Sir Toby Belch, a drunken uncle to one of the other characters, and his friend Sir Andrew Aguecheek.

Toby (left) and Andrew (right)

Andrew was this tall, chicken-legged man who seemed easily swayed by Toby's antics. The man who played Toby played a hilarious drunk.

Seeing this play made me want to write the book. I suppose in my writerly heart, that's the highest form of compliment I can give. It inspired me so much, it made me want to relive the story again. I don't know if I ever will, but the thing I take away from this performance is how important characters are. The big, bright, bold characters lit the stage and I looked forward to their scenes. That's just as important in writing. Your characters have to be loud (metaphorically), and they have to be vivid, and they have to have presence. Everything they do should be so engaging that readers can't look away.

So my advice? Watch a theater performance. Doesn't matter if you're in NY or in the middle of the Michigan woods. Buy your ticket and study the characters. I promise you, you'll be inspired.

From an old LiveJournal post --- Sensory Triggers

About four years ago, my husband switched shifts at work and had to be there at 5:30 a.m. Back then, we only had one car and I needed it to take Son to school. So every morning, the three of us got up, took Joe to work, then Son and I would go to the gas station. It was mid-January. Snowy. Cold. Son and I would get hot chocolates, maybe a donut.

Back at home, we'd hang out in my bedroom. I'd turn on VH1. Justin Timberlake's "What Goes Around Comes Around" played non-stop. Now, whenever I hear that song, I'm instantly taken back to those few months in the dead of winter. Hot chocolate in hand, music playing in the background, Son sleeping next to me because he always crashed out. I might have hated getting up so early, and I might have hated driving in the snow, but somehow those months stand out in memory, those dark, cozy mornings meaning more to me than the summer months that came after.

In Altered, Anna's life drastically changes around page 30. While on the run, certain things remind her of home, and those sensory triggers are important, for her and me. Brittle field grass shifting in the wind always reminds her of the field behind her house.

I realized Anna had several triggers, but it made me wonder, what about the other characters? This is something I think I need to do for every character. I don't think it matters what type of person they are---sensitive, stubborn, evil, plain---everyone can experience a sensory trigger. Even an evil wizard might be reminded of his childhood when smelling burning lizard tails. Right?

When I'm working on a project, I spend a lot of time on this site a free stock photography site where I gather photos that remind me of the book or the characters or the setting. Sometimes I make backgrounds for my computer with the photo and a line from the book so every time I open the computer, I'm greeted with the image. It always gets me in the mood. Here's one I made for Anna---

It doesn't just tell me something about the character or the setting, it makes me feel, because I'm so close to it. It helps put me in Anna's head, puts me in that enviroment. I find it helps a lot with writing.