Why I Heart Bad Boys

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

If you know me, then you’re well aware of the fact that I love the bad boys. Like a damn elephant to a watering hole. I’m there. I’ll even fall for the clichéd bad boy. Leather jacket. Moody. Broody. Badass. Shows no emotion. YES. But let’s get something straight, I do not, AT ALL, love a bad boy because I want to fix him. Because if I fixed him, he would no longer be bad. Why not throw a sweater vest on him while we're at it.

So why exactly do I love a bad boy? Or why does any girl for that matter? 

I decided to dig into the why a little more. And to do that, I had to go back to the very first bad boy I fell for. Let’s call him Wes.

Wes and I were friends all through school, but (and I’m sure you could see this one coming) he dropped out somewhere around the tenth grade. We didn’t reconnect until after I’d graduated when he started hanging around another couple I was friends with.

Wes was 5' 9", compact, wiry, with enough energy to outdo all of us. He had a reputation for fighting, but he didn't drink, he didn't use. And he always, always took care of his friends and family first, before anything else. He had these rules, rules he stuck by and I loved that about him. The day my cousin died, Wes was there without my even asking.  

But when we were in a big group of people, he turned on the arrogance, the immodesty. When it was just him and me…it’s hard to put into words how different he was. He was quiet, gentle, but still intense in this genuine, heartfelt kind of way.

So why do I think girls love bad boys? Eric Northman? Damon Salvatore? Dean Winchester? Initially, it's probably the danger or the excitement. But there's more than that, right? There has to be. 

I think it all comes down to this: we want to be the person who gets to see who the boy is when no one else is looking.

And I think in some ways, that's what we all want. We want to be special. We want to hold the keys to the great, impenetrable castle. We want to connect with someone on a level no one else can. That's why I love a bad boy, anyway.

Also, the leather jacket doesn't hurt. 

10 comments on "Why I Heart Bad Boys"
  1. YES. To all of this. Just yes. Have you read any Meg Cabot? Her 1-800 WHERE ARE YOU series has that cliched bad boy and I eat it UP. Awesome post :)

  2. Yes yes yes! Oh my goodness, Jenn, how are you so insightful to this? <3 this post!

  3. "we want to be the person who gets to see who the boy is when no one else is looking."

    Yes! My last ex was a completely different person when we were alone and nobody else ever understood why I liked him.

  4. I could never put my finger on it before, but you are so right:

    "I think it all comes down to this: we want to be the person who gets to see who the boy is when no one else is looking."

    Love this post Jen. Thanks!

  5. Farrah --- I think I have read those books, but maybe not all? Gosh, it's been a while tho, I don't even recall the bad boy! Must investigate.

    Z --- You and me speak the same language. :D

    Yahong --- I have had a lot of experience? Hah.

    Lisa --- I've gone through the same thing. It's hard for the people around you to understand!

    Ani --- YAY! I sure had fun writing it. :) You know me! Bad boys FOREVA!

  6. AWESOME POST. I love it. So true. So true.

  7. I think it all comes down to this: we want to be the person who gets to see who the boy is when no one else is looking.

    And in one sentence, you nail it.

    I love this post because I also, obviously, fall under the bad-boy spell. Hell, I used to write freaking fanfiction on a bad-boy with very psychotic murderous ways and somehow made it ALL sound okay. (It was Billy Darley aka a character Garrett Hedlund played. I know you are not surprised by that one, lol) And I know no matter how many stories I write there will always be, in some way or another, a bad boy floating around.

  8. D --- Thanks! I could turn the research and dissection of bad boy love into a full-time job!

    Amber --- Thanks! It's so hard NOT to fall under their spell, ya know? And no, I am not surprised by the Billy Darley fanfic. :D I should watch that movie again. By the end I was all I <3 Billy and then was all, "Wow, that is so wrong, considering HE KILLS PEOPLE!" Ha.

  9. I must admit, I never really understood the bad boy fixation most people have. Sure, sometimes I'm drawn to bad boy characters, but more often than not, it's the good boy characters I fall for. Especially when they're adorkable!

    However, after this post, I can no longer say that I don't understand why the majority are drawn to bad boys. Seeing the person a boy is when no one else is looking is such a great explanation for the fascination! Makes me better understand why people are drooling over the Damons while I squee about the Matts. ;)